Halloween!

I absolutely love Halloween! This year I dressed up as the Mad Hatter from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

Also, for the first time in about three years, I carved a pumpkin!

Some other characters from the movie also showed up...

Something I wrote...

Last semester, I had trouble sleeping and when I actually did sleep, it was broken. I had nightmares and vivid, troubling dreams. One of these dreams inspired a story that I have slowly been trying to develop into a working novel. I call the story "Death's Demands" and during one point a mother tells her daughter the history of her ancestors and I wrote the legend in poetry format- I hope you enjoy.

Three fates ruled over human mortality,
Cutting threads of life’s humanity.
Their shears of death did sever life
Thus they ruled over human strife.
After losing parents, friends and loved ones dear
Two brothers planned with mission clear.
To outsmart the Fates and make death fair
They stole passage into the evil lair.
And while the Fates did sleep in relax
They covered the life threads in molten wax
Thus to render the shears no more of gloom
But by so doing, sealed their doom.
Then there a curse upon future progeny
Ever to wander in unfulfilled journey
Upon paths of that despised death
Unless violence prevail, ne’er to feel that breath
Of the icy grave.
And loved one’s lives ne’er to save.
A firstborn son to carry souls
Beyond the mortal realm and live the role
Of Death’s dark messenger until replaced
By child or their bane defaced.
Likewise shall a firstborn girl be as the fallen Fates
Thus to determine when mortal life terminates
And with that wax, a candle for each mortal name
And when ended, extinguished with ethereal flame.
And if she fall without an heir
Those in her charge shall perish there.
So with every firstborn child shall it be
Until the ends of the eternity.

Roommates

I have the world's most wonderful roommates. Sorry to brag, but it is true. One roommate in particular always brings joy to my otherwise mediocre college existence. She says the most random, but gut bustingly funny things. (Note: I recently tore the cartilage on the left side of my rib cage so I could quite literally bust a gut or rib from laughing at the things she says). I try to explain our humorous interludes, but I always forget what she says, so I've decided to start blogging them as daily (or weekly or whenever I remember) Jessi-isms and provide background story so that all may partake of the delight that they bring to my life.

Jessi-ism #1
-Last semester, Jessi did not have a boyfriend so when she was feeling particularly lonely and in need of a good cuddle, she would shout for the whole apartment to hear, "I just want to be spooned!"

#2 -Today was just going really crappy for Jessi so one of our other roomies, Brittney, bought her a slinky and her favorite brand of chapstick to cheer her up. I decided to contribute a freshly baked pan of brownies. So when she got home we all ate a brownie and Jessi made the brilliant plan to put nutella on the brownies. Can I just say this woman is a genius? Anyway, Amy comes home and is delighted at the prospect of a heart attack on a plate when Jessi adds,
"Nutella on brownies, this is only for a crisis! Unless I can't carry around my year supply with me, I eat it and take it with me all year. This is productive, not frivilous!"

As an added bonus, I must mention my other incredible roomies. Brittney, like myself is painfully addicted to toaster streudels and cake/brownie batter. Amy is just adorable in any endeavor she pursues. Lindsey has such an incredible outlook on life and I admire her spirituality. Kady has such a sweet spirit and amazing hair. Jessi I have already mentioned brings a smile to my face. But they all either stop the painful tears or bring the good ones. I love them all and do not know what I would do without them to keep me sane during my college years.

Oh sweet freedom!

This post is completely random, but as many of you know, for the past two years I've been writing to a missionary who was my best friend/boyfriend in High School. He recently returned from said mission and I'd like to share my thoughts on the matter. When he left we agreed that I would not "wait" for him and would instead continue dating and living my life as if he were not a part of it. And now I realize how smart that was because, I have recently realized, we no longer 'fit'. After he got back, I kept waiting for the warm fuzzies of our past love to come back and fill me up with ooey gooey happiness, but they never did. Now when he hugs me, I feel absolutely nothing. This was at first, rather upsetting. But after vast reflections on the matter, I've come to realize that I like being single. In fact, in the months prior to his return I found myself wishing for another year to enjoy college life. But now that I know for certain that he and I have no future as husband and wife, as was the inferred plan prior to his leaving, I feel so relieved. I feel like I can conquer the world and I will.

So now I announce to the world (aka my very few blog followers) my plan for life. I still want to rock the literary world with my words and go on to be a great writer, but in the meantime, I've decided to go to Law School after NAU. I think I will be an awesome lawyer and who knows, maybe somewhere down the road, I'll be the next John Grisham. But no matter where I go in life, I know I'll do well because I believe in myself!

Just to catch up...

Over the past month, I haven't been doing much of anything. I've been job hunting like crazy, and working on my novel here and there, but otherwise the couch and large works of fiction have been by familiars lately. However, a couple of weeks ago, my car did catch on fire. We got all my stuff out and no one was hurt, so no worries. But unfortunately, without a car or a job, I feel pretty useless... I have faith that things will improve soon though, even if I have to take the city bus for a while. :D

Potter Mania!

So I'm taking a class called FS 121 Rereading Harry Potter. Yes it is an actual class worth three credits and counts toward the Aethstetic and Humanistic Inquiry part of liberal studies. But actually its a lot of work! I do more writing for that class than any other and that's saying something considering I'm an English major. Anyway, we had a party and I was put on the food committee and volunteered to make a cake. Originally I was going to make one in the shape of a snitch but all the pictures online were so lame that I decided to make the Hogwarts crest instead and it was so much work!!! The party was amazing and I dressed up as Professor Trelawney because she's just awesome.

Other things I forgot about...

I was going through my pictures the other day and found the ones I took over winter break. At first I was thinking "when in the heck did I take these? I don't remember them" then I realized there were three weeks of winter break in which I was not planning a funeral or being sad. I forgot that I spent a week with my mom in Window Rock, I forgot about the two days spent in Mesa, I forgot about the New Year's Eve party at my aunt Robin's house, I forgot about our family friend named Bonnie visiting. I forgot that up until January 2nd, I was actually having a good time. So here's the pictures and if I was holding a glass of martinelli's sparkling cider I'd toast and say "here's to remembering never to forget".

I forgot about New Year's

With everything that has been going on in the past month since my dad's passing, I'd quite forgotten New Year's and everything it entitles. I don't even remember what resolutions I made so I'm making new ones. The Chinese New Year is in February anyway so technically speaking this is not cheating.

Usually my resolutions have to do with losing weight, but this year I have decided to focus instead on being healthy. If I happen to drop a few pounds in the process I will not complain though. I've decided that I will start slow by changing my diet and exercising once a week for the first month. With time I'll increase my exercise routine and intensify it. I've completely given up carbonated beverages and I'm working toward cutting carbohydrates. I've been thinking about my dad alot. He was only 50 when he died of heart disease and he had diabetes and so does my mom. I don't want to be unhealthy- I want to live a long and happy life.

Speaking of happiness- another resolution is to be happier. I want to be more involved and make a difference in the lives of others. I think I'm pretty happy the way I am, but I know I can always do more!

Moving On and Remembering to Live again

Today marks the third week since my father's passing. The first week was one of the hardest of my short existence on this earth. Since I was still on break from college and I am the only one of siblings without a family of my own to care for, I therefore took upon myself the task of organizing a memorial service for my dad. I did this to spare my already busy siblings, but I did not expect to learn or grow so much in one week. Becca and I went through my dad's belongings and found his journal. In it I discovered my father that I had never taken the time to get to know before. For most of my life I've been angry and bitter towards him for things he didn't do, but really I should have seen what he did do. I learned, through reading, how much he loved me. Although he was well read and versed, my dad did not have a very effective way of expressing himself. I have always believed that actions speak louder than words and as a result I didn't believe him when he said he loved me. But in looking at his actions, I forgot to listen to what he was saying. I now know that my daddy truly did love me, more than I ever cared to admit while he was alive.

Since I was planning everything, I got extremely stressed out, but I think in so doing, I grew up. I thought I was mature and grown up just because I was nineteen and in college and had some tough times in High School. But now I know that the worst is yet to come. My life so far has been a cake walk compared to what the future holds. But, surprisingly, I'm okay with that. In my dad's death, I also grew closer to my Heavenly Father who listens when I speak, who answers when I call, and he also weeps whenever my tears fall. Through my savior's sacrifice, I will see my dad again and I will wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I love him.

Yes, losing a parent is tragic, but forgetting who you are and how to live is a horrible result that should never appear. I have been beating myself up with guilt for things I didn't say, but there were still things I did say that mattered. I saw my dad the day before he died and I gave him a hug and told him I loved him. And although it may seem trivial, I feel comfort knowing that we parted in love.